Why is Change So Hard?

Change is hard. That statement is very true for every person- even if you don’t think it applies to you. Whether it concerns a new job, a new place to live, a new relationship, or something else entirely, change comes with an adjustment period that can be hard to deal with. It can range from mildly difficult to downright painful, depending on your circumstances.

But why is change so hard? This may very well be the question that you’ve asked yourself before. What is it about change that makes it so hard? Well, I’m afraid I don’t have all the answers. But I can provide a little perspective based on my own experiences, as well as the experiences of people close to me. Here are just three reasons as to why change is so hard, as well as how to combat them.

1. We allow negative emotions to motivate us

Negative emotions affect us way more than you may think. Whether it’s fear, guilt, regret, and/or something else entirely, it can hurt your ability to make a change. Such negative emotions can result in you thinking about what you’re not currently doing, and/or that whatever you’re doing right now is wrong. It’s so draining and can cause you to be unable to change for the better.

This is why you need to focus on filling yourself with positive emotions instead of negative emotions. Turn “I can’t” into “I can”, and see how much of a difference that makes in your mood. Having positive emotions can turn into creating positive reasons as to why you should change. This will cause to most likely stick with the changes you’re trying to implement.

2. We attempt to change too much

Have you ever tried to do too much at once when it comes to changing? For example, say you want to lose weight. Do you try to eat healthy and work out five times a week (maybe even more) all in one go? More often that not, it can end without being able to commit. I’ve experienced this first-hand several times over the years. This happens because you’re overwhelming yourself with so much that it can be impossible to properly change.

To fix this, it’s better to make small changes slowly over time. Going back to the previous example- focus on changing your eating habits before focusing on working out (or vice versa). When you try to change too much at the same time, it can create unrealistic expectations that are too hard to meet. When you don’t meet said expectations, it’ll hurt your confidence and self-esteem, thus making change hard to stick. But making small changes instead will make them stick more- and also make you feel more accomplished too!

3. We forget that failure is a part of change

No one wants to fail at anything. For some, failure is arguably their biggest fear. That fear can make just the idea of changing a non-starter from the get-go. But the hard truth is that failure is a part of change. You’re going to fail because it happens when to attempt to change- and that’s okay!

Failure is necessary when changing because it tells you a lot. Namely, it tells you what deserves your attention and energy in the future, as well as teach you important lessons. When you fail, you’ll learn something important- be it about yourself or about something else. So if you’re looking to change, it’s crucial to keep in mind that you’re going to fail once, twice, maybe even more. You may not want to hear that, but it’s something that you’ll need to accept in order to succeed in changing.


While there are many factors as to why change is so hard, those are just three reasons that explain it. Does that change isn’t possible? Absolutely not. People can change- and that includes you. But it’s important to understand that it isn’t easy, and therefore will take a lot of time and effort in order to achieve.

What has your experience been with change? How was it hard for you? Tell me your story in the comments below, or by reaching out to me on social media!




Published by Elizabeth Sarah Larkin

Freelance Writer & Social Media Manager

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